Brianna and Kyle are an inspirational young couple who recently got engaged on Brianna’s birthday.
They were weeks into their first pregnancy when our pandemic hit. Hospitals were implementing social-distancing, which meant limited family support during labor and delivery.
As Father’s Day approaches, I am encouraged by how this new dad is supporting his fiancé and preparing for his growing family. As well as Brianna’s gratitude and optimism towards the couple’s shared future. Here’s our interview.
DommiesBlessed: What is it like being pregnant during these times?
Brianna: I have days where I’m mourning the loss of what I expected my first pregnancy to be like. And other days where I’m super, super grateful.
I’ve put things into perspective during this process. All the little things we forgot to be thankful for, like having a family and a job, being able to go to the grocery store, and the little moments that I have with Kyle that I probably would have taken for granted if everything was open and business was as usual.
So, it goes back-and-forth. I have moments where I'm really sad, then moments where I'm really happy, excited, and feeling empowered. I don't know anybody else in my family that's been pregnant during a pandemic.
What about you, babe?
Kyle: It’s been challenging. I’m trying to be the best provider I can be.
Obviously, Brianna is my family. So, not necessarily being able to provide the things I want to and everything basically being paused for months has been frustrating. But, we’re both people of faith. We believe God has a reason for everything and sometimes He wants us to sit still. I was doing a lot of moving before all this happened. And even though it's frustrating and challenging - it’s been for the better.
A couple of months ago, I was going back-and-forth between Connecticut and Boston, until recently when I officially moved to Boston. I’m not saying I wanted a pandemic to happen, but honestly, if this didn’t happen, I'm not sure how I would have been able to make the shift in a timely fashion and in the way that Brianna needed me to.
So, God has a unique way of putting us in places where we need to be. Spending time with Brianna these past few months has been very, very valuable.
Right around the time we were trying to figure things out and starting to talk about our finances, businesses were opening back up and I got busy. So, in the midst of what seems like chaos, I see things perfectly falling into place. I had to stop moving and really see what’s in front of me. And I’m extremely grateful for everything -- even the hard parts.
Brianna: I'm also really grateful that we had the opportunity to connect with our pregnancy. I was able to listen to my body more and learn my baby. I feel like I already know the baby's personality, its routine, its schedule. I have moments, sometimes hours, where I can just sit and really meditate with the baby. I don't know that I would have been able to do that if I was
running back-and-forth to work and Connecticut all the time. We’ve both been living in the present more than we would have under normal circumstances.
Of course, I wish I got to take the birthing classes, CPR classes, and had the big baby shower that I always wanted. We also had a Babymoon planned for May. But on the flip side, we got a more personal connection with the baby.
Kyle: We also missed out on being around family. It really had to be just us two. A lot of people were quarantined for a long period of time. So we really learned how to depend on each other and that’s an important part.
We both had to step away from our comfort zones, and both of our parents. The isolation was important for us to learn how to build a family on our own.
DommiesBlessed: That is so beautiful and it sounds like you two have done the internal work.
Brianna: It was kind of forced on us.
DommiesBlessed: Of course. But even with tremendous pressure, you’re optimistic and managing quite well.
Brianna: Yeah, a lot of families were losing their minds...
Kyle: and breaking up.
DommiesBlessed: I’m happy you two were able to grow closer during this time. As a breastfeeding blogger, I’m curious to know how you are preparing for that part of your journey?
Brianna: It’s been a combination of YouTube videos, social media, following certain pages, certain blogs, and utilizing apps.
I'm actually the first person of my friend group to have a baby. So, I'm not really getting advice from friends. My cousin, who had a baby last year, has been really, really informative and insightful. She’s been telling me about the gross stuff that happens to the female body that people don’t like to talk about and I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting the older people in my family to give all the helpful advice.
It was also really important for me to find a black female doctor, which was my goal the minute I found out I was pregnant. I’ve seen how black women are treated differently with regard to their healthcare. And it was important for me to feel like I could relate to the person that was handling my pregnancy and delivery.
And of course, leaning on each other for support. There are things that I know, that Kyle doesn't know. And there are things that Kyle knows that I don't know.
Kyle: I read books.
Brianna: Yeah. Kyle’s a big book reader. The weekend after I told him I was pregnant, he went out and bought these dad books.
DommiesBlessed: That’s so sweet!
Brianna: It's actually pretty hilarious. He reads the books, and I google or use my apps.
Brianna: I don’t use WebMD, I use BabyCenter.
Brianna: We also actually pray a lot. So, whenever we eat, we always say grace and we always pray for a healthy pregnancy, a safe delivery, and for things to continue to go smoothly.
DommiesBlessed: Thank you Kyle and Brianna for sharing your story.
In order to continue supporting families during COVID-19, the Boston Breastfeeding Coalition now offers virtual breastfeeding support groups and a Breastfeeding Support Warm-line (857) 301-8259.
DommiesBlessed, the interviewer, is super passionate about encouraging breastfeeding families through our collective stories. If you’re interested in contributing your breastfeeding past, present or future, click here, we’d love to have you.
Daily Milk hosts articles, posts and ideas from various members of our breastfeeding coalition!